I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately. This four letter f-word that has such power. It’s something we all have to deal with. And it’s something many of us aren’t aware of in our own lives. So what happens when we decide to identify and dream past our fear? Personally, I’ve found it’s a journey of self-discovery. It means getting into those emotional places with yourself and figuring out your own walls. You’ll probably find it uncomfortable and it’s definitely not going to be loads of fun. But getting past your fears means making the time to get to know yourself. Nothing changes unless you do.
So today is all about fear. It’s a challenge for myself. And if you want, it’s a challenge for you too. How do we identify the fear in our lives? And what would it be like to dream past them?
START WITH THE BUT
One of my best friends will tell you, I’m always the first to call out her but. Nope, I didn’t type that wrong. I’m not talking about your backside or the peach we are all trying to grow/tone. I’m talking about your but. It’s that sneaky back side of a sentence. I would love to do this but.
I’m a firm believer that we are stronger than our limits. And a lot of times, we don’t even know what those are in our lives. Maybe it’s something subconscious or something we’ve been taught to believe about ourselves. But if you want to figure out the beginning of those fear boundaries, start with your buts. For me, I knew for a long time I needed to be on the other side of the camera. However, I grew up with a lot of kids who mocked my weight or looks. So inside I had a lot of turmoil and insecurities about it. My but was looked something like: I think people should probably see me for the blog but I’m not fit yet/I haven’t reached my goals yet.
The fear was strong and holding me back. And I’m not saying I’m over it. I have a lot of wading in my own emotions to do. Nevertheless, taking the time to check my buts has taught me more about myself than I’d ever imagined. It’s also helped me show friends how to do it too.
LOOK FOR THE WHY
Figuring out your buts is important. But understanding the why is the next step in moving forward. I’m sure a psychologist could take you down the rabbit hole of how you got to be where you are in life. Maybe this is a good time to start therapy to help you see new things. Whatever it looks like in your life. If you want to deal with the problem, you need to know why it’s there to begin with. You’ve got to treat the problem not the symptoms.
LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF
You hear it all the time when people are starting new job adventures. People will ask you: if you could do anything in the world and money wasn’t a factor, what would it be? Honestly, I don’t think any of us really know how to answer that question. It’s hard to look past the bills and issues of regular life. So if you can’t answer that question, try another path: follow the money.
Your money and time is a big indicator of what you value in life. I’ve loved movies & tv shows since I was a kid. Everything from the stories to the music to the editing, it’s always been and will always be a passion. So it’s of little surprise that I spent 3 years working in film & tv. When I was on the road to figuring out what I wanted to do after college, I looked at my time & money. And it lead me to a job that gave me amazing friends & experiences.
If you’re finding it hard to listen to yourself in those quiet moments, follow your time and money trail. You’ll probably still need time to acknowledge those passions. But start down the path of asking questions.
FIND A SAFE PLACE TO DREAM
As adults sometimes we find it unrealistic to dream. We get so caught on the buts that we aren’t willing to ask for more in our lives. And instead of being happy or doing something about it, we wallow and complain in our misery. Friend, you are more than the unhappiness in your life.
I’ve always been a fan of journaling. For me, it’s a great way to put cohesion to my scattered thoughts. But it’s also a great place to just be. I think a lot of times we are scared to dream because of what others will think. We can’t move past the fear of other’s opinions long enough to imagine ourselves living in this place of joy. It’s kind of like when you love something and are afraid to tell a friend because you’ll be crushed if they don’t like it too. We need a place free of fear.
If you can, start a journal. Find a blank page and just write down the things you’d love to do. Dream. Maybe it’s a document on your computer, a note on your phone or a journal in your night stand. Give yourself a place to dream no matter what it looks like. Give yourself the freedom to dream.
FIND YOUR NEXT STEP
Now remember when I said nothing changes unless you do? It’s time to step up for that first change. You have way more power over your life than you realize. So figure out what step you can take that moves you forward. Maybe it’s signing up to volunteer, taking a class at the local college or learning a new skill with the help of Youtube. The dreams that you have can become a beautiful reality. And if your dream is marrying Chris Pratt, can I get an invite to the wedding? Lol.
Whatever your dreams may be, let them be more powerful than your fear. If you need a friend to help keep you accountable, ask for help. If the fear of other’s opinion is holding you back, remember they don’t control your happiness. You do. We all want more for ourselves. Surround yourself with the people who want those dreams for you.
So my beautiful friend, I hope you’ll find a way to dream a little bit bigger. Wherever you are in life and whatever your dreams may be, I hope you know I pray they all come true. Because you are loved, you matter and you are bigger than your fears.
