There are areas of my life that will always need work. Whether it’s maintenance or heavier, deep emotional work, accepting that it’s my job to do the work if I want to get to the other side has become standard for me. 

And if there’s one thing I’ve talked about repeatedly on the blog, it’s healing my relationship with food and my body.

When I first shared about this years ago, there were things I’d done that helped kick-start the process. Learning more about my emotional health, my habits, my tendencies around food, and so on were phase 1. 

But phase 2, well it took me in an unexpected but life changing direction. So today I’ve put it all together to share it with you.

How I Healed My Relationship With Food

Step 1: Understanding What I Believed About Food

You hear people talk a lot about limiting beliefs, most often when they’re talking about manifesting, but really beliefs are the things that drive our lives. Our beliefs determine our actions. 

Sure, there are plenty of thoughts that we might think we live by. Phrases and words that pass through our heads all of the time. But those thoughts don’t always provoke motion.

Beliefs do. 

Understanding my relationship with food started with going back to how I was thought to think and treat food as a child. For me, the phrase “carbs are bad” or I’ll do x when I lose weight was a standard phrase in my life.

Sure, there were conversations around nourishment and not eating a heavily processed diet. My parents both grew up on farms. So, I got side eye when I’d ask for Pop-Tarts, and soda was definitely not a staple in our lives.

But healing my relationship with food meant I had to recognize I had a pre-existing one. One that was heavily determined by how I was inducted into diet culture, self-harm & punishing behaviors with my diet and more early on. 

Step 2: Recognizing How Food Was Tethered To Other Areas Of My Life

I’ve come to believe over the years that food is both a tool and a source of joy in my life. But when we don’t know how or why we use/consume food, it can feel like we’re a victim of something we need to survive.

Many people find that food is an area of control when everything else feels uncontrollable. When it feels like you’re lost in the waves of your life, you grab onto the things you are certain of. 

Our diets are often one of those things.

I came to realize, as I did and continue to do this work, I had a really uncomfortable relationship with feeling my emotions. And since I wasn’t taught how to emotionally process as a child without feeling overwhelmed, I learned how to suppress them. 

I learned how to send the feelings away with food, and it worked, for a time.

Other things like my relationship with how I felt I was worthy of love also heavily tied into my actions and beliefs around food.

Growing up in the 90s meant the era of low-rise denim, the Atkins diet, and no celebrated curvy women in sight. And given that I had no self-beliefs around being worthy of being loved no matter what – it was easy to fall into the trap of I’ll be truly loved if I look like X.

And X certainly didn’t match my body type.

Steps 3 & 4: Forgiving Myself & Deciding How I Wanted To Move Forward

I talk about all of this in the Self-Love Reset, but when you start looking at any area of your life, there’s also a level of forgiveness required. Plus, taking the time to let yourself feel the pain for the heaviness you carried for so long.

To empathize with the version of yourself that was being harmed by the previous relationships and beliefs and to cry with her.

I walk you through all of this more deeply in the reset along how to figure this all out. But part of letting go is also defining how I wanted to move forward.

I decided I wanted a stress-free relationship with food. I decided I got to be someone who trusted herself with food. And from there, I took steps as I felt guided – some I probably wasn’t fully ready for. But I took steps.

I decided that food would be no big deal. I decided that no matter what the universe would always provide me with nutritious meals to eat that would support my body and my goals.

So, I decided that I didn’t need to think or worry about food because I would always be taken care of. And then I lived that out with a few rough patches. But it worked.

Step 5: Understanding My Fears Around Food & How I Use It As A Tool

This, along with step 6, is a lifelong part of this process. Because while I did release myself from a need to think or worry about food, I also needed to understand my fears around it.

I feared equally that I would lose the weight and never lose the weight. I feared that losing the weight would mean losing the audience. Therefore, losing my life (i.e. my source of income). 

Also, I often hear people say things in relation to food that tell me internally what they fear: “I worry I’ll never trust myself with food”. Or “I’ll never be able to control myself with food”.

Which is also another way of saying I don’t believe food can truly just support me. That food can work in my favor and for my good.

But I also had to acknowledge that having new beliefs around food often inspires new behaviors. And my relationship with food and how it supported me will need to be adapted with the different seasons in my life.

So, instead of putting stress on food and creating a toxic relationship in this area, I often ask now how can I feel more supported here? What do I need in this area of my life?

And it changes all the time.

For a while, it was I needed someone else to prepare my meals for me, so we used Factor. Currently, it’s I need to prepare vegetable options ahead of time because I find myself floating between proteins. But my decision fatigue kicks in when it comes to veggies. Therefore, without planning (and acknowledging my needs), I don’t get enough in my life.

Now I prep a few salads or veggie sides every few days. It makes it easier for me to eat vegetables without having to worry or stress about the decision every time.

Step 6: Learn How To Trust Yourself & Find Your Support Team

This step can take some time. However, there are 11 million people who have thoughts on how you should eat and fuel your life. And none of them are you. But occasionally, some of them will be right.

If you can learn to listen to how your body talks, it will go a long way towards helping you build the right team. It’ll help you feel more supported in this area of your life.

I worked with a functional nutritionist last year, and while it wasn’t the best fit. However, I did learn a lot from the testing. And that kind of information isn’t going to be available doing a Tiktok scroll. It isn’t offered as a standard option from most medical practices.

There are things your body will tell you because it wants your support. You have to learn to accept & listen to. Like hey maybe coffee doesn’t work for me because my body finds it hard to metabolize, and it gives me a headache. Or it gives me major bedtime anxiety.

*that’s me

Or hey, maybe those breakouts on my skin are an indicator of something going on with my gut I don’t realize. So, I need to take a closer look at my diet.

Even deeper, your body might need certain nutrients and supplements to help synthesize what you’re already taking. It can also need these to balance out what has been depleted or stressing you out for a while.

Having a team that can help you find those answers is helpful.

Now I think it’s safe to say this is an area that is a work in progress. It’s something required to sustain and thrive in my life. But the work I’ve done over the last few years has transformed me internally in both mind and body. And I can’t recommend it enough.

If you’d like to check out the Self-Love Reset for yourself, you can find that information here. And if you want more posts from WSS, don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter. Until next time. Xoxo, Savvy

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