You hear it all the time: Comparison is the thief of joy. And with a curated feed of people’s best moments, it’s easy to let the jealousy creep in. While it would be incredibly simple to blame everyone else for our own frustrations with our lives, it’s really up to us. Today I wanted to share a few ways that can help you down with your own jealousy. We don’t have control over anyone but ourselves. So instead of playing the blame game, it’s time to take back your power and put your green envy in its rightful place. Are your ready?
DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE JEALOUS?
Yep, it starts with why. It always start with why. Jealousy has more to do with the things we are frustrated with about ourselves than anything else. So why are you jealous? Is it because your best friend got more likes on instagram than you? Maybe it’s because you feel like everyone else around you is moving forward in life and you aren’t. The thing about jealousy is that it’s a weed. And the longer you let it hang out in the garden of your mind, the more toxic it becomes to the beautiful flowers you’re trying to plant. If we want to get rid of the jealousy, we need to figure out why it’s there in the first place.
COMBAT THE LIE WITH A TRUTH
Part of the reason jealousy and comparison take such a strong hold in our lives is because we believe the lie. Whatever toxic thought that has come in our brain, however it may have gotten there, we believe it. If you want to take out the green envy monster, you’re going to need some positive truths.
Affirmations can be a game changer when you’re working to debunk the lies. Learning to speak them over yourself daily is just one of the ways to take back your headspace. If you’re jealous because you feel like you’re no where near as accomplished as your friends, then your truth is probably: I’m exactly there I need to be. Or maybe you’re comparing your body to someone else’s. Your truth might be: I am strong, power and beautiful.
It can take time to find affirmations that you really identify with that speak truth into your life. Pinterest is a great resource. There’s also an entire highlight on my instagram. My advice, and the method I choose to practice most often, is to speak to yourself how you wish someone else would speak to you. Give yourself the complements you’re wishing someone else would say. And repeat them daily. Let the truth be more important than the lie of jealousy.
REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY
When we are trying to figure out a new path or how to set goals, it’s natural for us to take inspiration from those around us. But when inspiration turns to comparison and then jealousy, it becomes toxic. It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live or where you came from, your journey is your own. Your incredible story may inspire someone else’s someday just like you were inspired. It doesn’t mean the road will be the same.
If you’re living with jealousy, it’s time to remember that there is no one right way to get to your dreams. We are all on our own unique paths. Sometimes they look similar and converge with others. However, what’s right for you isn’t necessarily right for others. It’s time to remember to focus on your own road.
FIND AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
In my mind, the opposite of jealousy is gratitude. Instead of wishing you had something, you’re thankful for what you do have in your life. So it’s time to focus on those things. It’s a regular part of my daily routine to write down 5 things I’m thankful for. Because when I focus on everything I do have, I’m less concerned with everything else. What do you have to be thankful for today? Remember the next time you’re wanting to compare yourself or feeling jealous, there are many wonderful and beautiful things in your life. Start listing them.
DITCH THE PITY AND TAKE ACTION
I’ve said it before but I’m very much the tough love friend. I 100% believe that we should acknowledge our feelings and emotions. But I don’t think living in a “woe is me” state is doing us any favors. If you’re dealing with jealousy, it might be time to take action. Hopefully, you’ve started with identifying why you’re jealous. Because along with speaking truth into your life, you need to get honest with yourself.
Is this thing you wish you had in your life what you really want? Or is it just something you think would make you happy? If it’s something you really want, awesome. Let’s make a game plan to make it a reality. But if it’s just this illusion of an idea that you think makes X person extra glam, you might need to focus on your truths.
And because this all seems vague, let’s give an example. Instagram influencers are all the rage. You see them with new clothes all the time, traveling here there and everywhere. Their lives seem glam. Or maybe you follow the fitness guru of the century and you think they have the most amazing body.
Here’s the reality: you can find a way to make things happen in your life if you REALLY want them. You could go all in on becoming an influencer, travel the globe and wear cute clothes. But you could also be working 97% of the time, rarely traveling for fun and always hustling. You could also have amazing abs and a round butt. Except maybe you like your bed too much and never workout in your life.
If you want all these things you’re jealous of in your life, then it’s time to take action. Find a way to make them a reality and stop longing from a distance. Or realize that maybe you’re in love with the glamour of what you’re seeing. Either way, it’s time to take action.
SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
Let it be known I will preach setting boundaries until I’m blue in the face. And not the blue lips from whatever crazy person is killing people in Riverdale this season. I mean I will be out of breath because this is now my soapbox. Girl, get some boundaries.
By now, we’ve recognized that jealousy has more to do with us than the other person. It’s our frustrations with ourselves that spark a seed of jealousy. So while you’re working on your mental health and getting to the root of your issues, it’s time to set some boundaries. Maybe it’s spending less time with certain people, hiding influencers from your instagram feed or even deleting the app from a while. You’re never going to heal if you go back to the same toxic well. It’s time to set some boundaries and clean out the crap in your head.
I probably should have started today’s post with a warning: tough love ahead. But I hope you know that it’s because I love each and every one of you that I share this. You deserve to live your happiest and healthiest lives. And a life filled with jealousy is only going to be toxic. It’s time to kick the green envy monster to the curb. You’ve got this babes. Until next time. Xoxo, Savvy
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