Relationships are hard. Whether it’s your best friend, your partner or your parent, there will always be a time when things are easier in a relationship than others. But in my many conversations with friends as we’ve navigated the dating world, there’s one thing we always come back to in relationships: our love language.
If you’ve never heard about love languages or have no clue what your love language is, take heart. You can easily find out by taking the quiz here. But in the spirit of love, Valentine’s Day and making the most of all relationships, today I wanted to chat about why they are so important. And maybe, just maybe, how they can be impacting your relationship with those around you.
What Is A Love Language?
Everyone has a love language. Some have more than one. They are the ways we show and receive love. There are those of you who might really love it when someone hugs you or makes it a point to spend time with you. If you’re like me, it means the world to you when someone goes out of their way to help or do something for you. But in general there are 5 love languages: Act of Service, Quality Time, Words Of Affirmation, Physical Touch & Receiving Gifts.
Why Do I Need To Know Mine?
Communication is key in any relationship. But if you want to feel emotionally supported, understanding your love language can be a major key. If your love language is quality time or words of affirmation but your partner’s is acts of service, it can be easy to feel like you aren’t on the same page when you aren’t communicating the same way. You might need your partner to tell you how the appreciate you whereas they would really love it if you helped them with a big project without them asking. Knowing your love language helps you to help your partner and hopefully make your relationship even stronger!
HOW DO I FIGURE OUT MY PARTNER’S?
Actions speak louder than words. If you want to figure out your partner’s love language but don’t want to say, hey take this test, then I’d suggest paying attention to how they show love towards you and others. Are they always offering to step in and help out with a task? Do they randomly surprise you with a gift? Maybe, date night is really important to them and they just want some one on one time with you. Take a closer look at what their behavior says if you want to get a peek behind the curtain. Their actions will give away their love language in no time.
HOW DOES KNOWING YOUR LOVE LANGUAGES CHANGE THINGS?
The best thing you can do in any successful relationship is to be honest. This means communicating your wants and needs rather than expecting someone to read your mind. It’s a question I’m constantly asking myself and reminding my friends: am I communicating what I need or am I expecting someone to just know? If you want someone to know something, tell them.
If you don’t feel emotionally supported by your partner, maybe it’s because they are showing you love in a way that clicks for them and not you. Knowing how your partner gives love can help give you a better understand and appreciate their love more. It can also help you share helpful ways you can both support each other in communicating your love.
I also find it’s a way to spot potential problems in a relationship ahead of time. For example, I have a friend who’s love languages are physical touch & quality time. And for her, a long distance relationship is even more challenging. Much of what she needs to feel like her emotional needs are being met require less distance. But knowing her love language means she can be mindful of the challenges ahead and communicate her needs in a relationship.
WHAT DO I DO ONCE I KNOW MY LOVE LANGUAGE?
Knowing your love language is a great way to help you succeed in all relationships. But it’s also helpful in making you a better friend or partner. If you know how you show love, you can make the extra effort to adjust to showing love to those around you in a way that resonates for them. You can also use this tool to help yourself and others around you build better relationships.
Loving someone means learning to love them quirks & all. However, knowing their love language means you can communicate on a deeper level and really show them how much they matter to you. Learning about love languages is a game changer for any relationship. And hopefully, you’ll find a stronger connection with your loved ones simply by learning a little something new. It really is all about the small things.
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