There’s something about a monthly recap that has become a favorite of mine over the years. The time set aside to reflect with intention on what worked while also being able to release the need to track things so closely on a daily basis. It’s provided much-appreciated space and allowed me to grow so much more quickly over the years.
But this month as I sat down for my May recap, I realized that I no longer recognized the path I was on. I no longer recognized the person I’d become. More than anything, I felt deeply that it’s time for a change.
So today, I want to share that journey with you. Whether you’re ready for a new season or simply looking to join a community where growth is a way of life, I hope that today’s recap will inspire you to embrace the hard questions and answers knowing that there’s beauty in the discovery on the other side. Let’s dive in!
Where I Can Grow
So much of the last few years for me has been about finding ways to heal. To do the work. To show up. But at some point, the habit of constantly questioning yourself can become toxic. It can shake your confidence. And what once might have been a journey to become the best version of you that you can create has suddenly been derailed into a ditch.
If I’m honest, which we hopefully always are with ourselves, I can accept the failure and admit I forgot who I was. Whether we want to credit too many hours on the internet letting the doubt of others become my own or a need to learn to set boundaries, the accountability and plan to change always fall on me. To quote William Ernest Henley, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
But where does that leave us in these moments where we know it’s time for a change. How do we move beyond what was to embrace what can be as well as the belief that we can change our dreams into a reality? That’s certainly the foundation for June’s goals so stay tuned.
Where I Succeeded
*Be the gentle observer of your thoughts*
I’ve had this on repeat in my mind for so long that the moment I realized I was thinking like a person that wasn’t me – it almost felt like a slap to the face. Admittedly, the thoughts weren’t all doubtful. The times when I realize how much doubt is truly laying underneath what I deem as a passing thought is only one part of the equation.
However, the part where I realized I was mentally planning a life I never wanted or intended to have – well it made it want to scream. In a good way!
As so often said by those who believe in manifesting (a word that is defined differently by everyone who uses it), our lives are a creation of our thoughts. We create our reality. And the first step to changing that, to allowing yourself to become whatever version of YOU that you want for your life is to recognize what that internal conversation looks like.
I’ve never wanted to be normal. I love change and growth and doing/trying new things. So the idea that I was thinking about life in terms of “well we always do this” or “we always do that” – I knew I’d shifted so far from the woman I’d been working to become.
And yet recognizing that I was mentally planning a life for someone I didn’t want to be was what helped me shake free. It’s what’s helped me acknowledge the complacency that has become a blanket over my life. Making things just a bit harder to breathe but not always so noticeable that it’s there.
What I Will Change For June
So here’s where we talk about intentions because knowledge is only as powerful as our willingness to apply it to our lives:
I’ve always loved setting goals. And the idea of planning for more than a few months at a time – to have an annual calendar – immediately brings on that blanket harder-to-breathe sensation. The idea of the 12-week year stems from the book sharing the same title. One I’ll go more in-depth with during this week’s podcast episode. But for now, I’m giving myself permission to only be responsible for the next 12 weeks. To focus in with everything I have knowing we can adjust as needed when the time comes. And knowing that the first step is sometimes the hardest.
Less Of A Willingness To Give Into My Excuses
In an effort to adjust and adapt to what I’ve felt like I should be doing, I’ve taught myself to ignore my inner voice and embrace far too many excuses in my everyday life. This is as simple as talking myself out of seeing a movie for the 2nd time in theaters because I could stay home (which tracks for the last few years but now has become its own layer of depression).
I’ve always been particularly good at making both sides of an argument work but now it’s become to my detriment. Knowing that it’s time for a change and doing something about it means pushing to my limits and then some. Leaning into the uncomfortable so I can grow. No longer being available for my excuses.
What’s right for me doesn’t have to be right for you and vice versa. The best version of myself is the one who knows who she is, who she is becoming, and is open to the process of how that happens. For me, this looks like finding a middle ground between total stubbornness and a version of myself that believes everyone is right but her. The latter of which is emotionally exhausting.
Setting boundaries for me right now means acknowledging that there’s a lot that isn’t right for me at this moment but might be right for those around me. And that’s okay. It’s safe to be on this journey with someone else while also having a totally different experience. It’s safe to live your life on your terms.
Alright friends. We covered a lot today. I hope that this new recap form inspires you whenever or wherever you may be reading this. And I hope that as we continue to grow, we find ourselves learning to love ourselves more intentionally than ever before. If you want more moments and chats like these in your life, I think you’d love my weekly newsletter. As well as, I try to upload a vlog on Youtube every week where we can have these conversations in real-time so I’d love to have you join us there.
I’d love to hear where you’re at this month and how you’re recapping your life. Come DM me on Instagram – I love chatting with you all. Until next time. Xoxo, Savvy
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