I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason. Every. Single. Thing. And while it may suck at the time, God takes us through these seasons and these moments to teach us and use it in our lives later. But sometimes I think we take things from these moments that hurt us more than they help us. Instead of growing and moving forward, we hold onto this fear and need to keep things close. And friend, let me tell you. Sometimes the best thing we can do is tp let go.
So wherever you’re at in your journey today, I hope a peek behind the emotional curtain of my life can help you. I want to share with you some of the things I’m working to let go of in my life. I also want to talk about how I think they got there and the freedom I’ve felt since letting them go. If you’re ready for a bit of an emotional chat, today’s the day. Grab a cup of a glass of wine & some chocolate and let’s talk about letting go.
You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore
When I first moved home 2.5 years ago, I never thought life would go the way it did. One parent wheelchair bound, another having their hip replaced a few months later, then losing both my father and uncle within a 3 months span, it was a lot. I worked so hard to build a career in film and get to where I was. I knew no one going in and was starting from scratch proving myself, networking and making friends who helped me get jobs along they way. But when I stepped away from that I knew it was where God was taking me and I had peace. I just never thought life would lead me to my home town again.
And in the whirling chaos of the last few years, there’s been some stability. However, I’ve just as easily gotten lost in the survival mode of it all. Losing a job, losing a parent, going through a hurricane all added up to me getting lost in the winds of what was happening. Eventually I realized I’d lost myself.Ā
Something clicked over the last few months. Whether it was settling into the new season or just seeing things again with fresh eyes but I realized I needed to let go. I knew I couldn’t keep living in survival mode because one day I would wake up and I’d be angry. I’d resent how I spent my time. I’d resent the fact that I moved home. And I wanted more for myself than a bunch of built up anger and frustration.Ā
So I let go. I let go of the need to always feel like I was fighting for everyone else and not myself. I let go constantly feeling like I didn’t know who I was anymore. And it wasn’t overnight but slowly but surely I got to know me again. I created moments and routines to help me claw back my mental health. Little by little, I went from feeling like I was waiting for the next wave to crash over me to feeling like I could tread water & even swim. If you’re like me, this will take time. But part of letting go for me meant being able to speak up for what I needed so I didn’t feel like I was getting washed away.Ā
You’re Thinking In A Bubble
If you ever spend time with me and my mom, you’ll learned very quickly we are close. I’d say we are our own version of the Gilmore Girls. And while I love our relationship and our closeness, I’ve come to realize that if I’m not careful we can limit each other as much as we help each other grow. Losing my dad at such a young age made me even more aware of the time I have with my mom. I want to make sure I spend the time with her I can while she is on this Earth. But I also have to realize I can’t live my life around the fear of losing another parent.
My friends ask me all the time when I’m moving back to Atlanta. The truth is I really don’t know. There are so many things I love about Atlanta and there are just as many things that I love about Florida. But there’s a piece in my mind that thinks if I move somewhere will my mom want to live there too. And this thought process has me thinking in a bubble.
Maybe for you there’s something else that’s limiting how you think. For me I’ve had to realize that there’s not much life lived in fear. I know there’s so much more than can happen if I step outside of it. However in order to do that I have to let go of the things that are limiting me and trust that everything will workout the way it is meant to in the end.Ā
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YOU’RE SURROUNDED BY STUFF
Let me start this one with a disclaimer: I have nothing against stuff. I can appreciate the pillows, the decorations and even the million dishes my mother keeps in our house. But I’ve come to realize for myself that sometime’s I’m buying stuff not because I physically need it but I emotionally do.Ā
When I was thinking about cleaning out my closet for spring, there was this nagging inside of me to keep things. Not because I’d use them or really needed them but because they were like a comfort blanket. They served as an emotional holder for me in place of something I probably needed God to step in and fill in my life. I was clinging to my stuff in fear when I really just needed to let go.
Now don’t think I’ve purged all my life possession and now only have a few items. I’m a girl who enjoys her stuff but I’ve come to realize I don’t always need more of it. The buying to keep up with trends, the need to have the current in things, even the constant hauls of stuff coming in: I’m letting go. Does that mean I’ll never buy anything new? Not at all. But it does mean I’m letting go of the need to focus on everyone else and look at what I really need & want in my life.
And sure some of this has to do with my strong desire to go debt free this year. But I’ve also let go of that need to feel secure in who I am by the amount of items I’ve surrounded myself with. It’s another chain off my neck and it feels so freeing.Ā
YOU FEEL TRAPPED IN YOUR DIET
I touched on this in my post aboutĀ why I ditched the diet lifestyle. But it’s been another thing I’ve let go of and still battle with daily. As I’m writing this, it’s day 2 of vegan month but it’s more like day 1 for me because I failed yesterday. And guess what, I’m okay with it.
I met up with friends last night who had cooked dinner. Typically I try to stay within my 10-6 fasting window but I’m also okay with a bit of flexibility. Building a healthy lifestyle means not being strict all the time. So we get to fixing our plates. I added a bit of chicken, some green beans and a piece of corn on the cob. Nothing fancy but it was what sounded good and it met what I felt like I was craving.Ā
Ya’ll I didn’t realize until 2 hours later I wasn’t supposed to have chicken. Like I got in the car and thought, Oh my gosh, I wasn’t supposed to eat that! To be honest, I don’t typically love chicken so the fact that I wanted it was a bit of a shocker for me. But I was listening to my body and went off the intuition to eat a bit of protein so I didn’t think twice! I also stopped for some non-dairy ice cream on the way home because apparently my body is rocking some fun period cravings.
All of this is to say, I’ve let go of the need to check a certain diet box. And for me intermittent fasting has been super helpful in doing so. But the freedom to eat whatever I want and to listen to my body is yet another chain lost. Learning to love myself where I’m at and enjoy each day instead is amazing.Ā
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ANYMORE
I’ve thought long and hard about this one. And it’s definitely something I come back to again and again. My number one person I have to be in line with and please is God. Now if you’re married, there’s an extra in there but God comes first. For this example, I’m single so it’s really just me and God here.Ā
When it comes to really diving into what I want in my life, I only have one person I have to check in with. So everyone else’s expectation of what I should and shouldn’t be doing really doesn’t matter. Is it easy to let go of that when everyone is constantly in your ear & the noise seems overwhelming? Not really. But at the end of the day I have to ask myself is this what God wants for me and is this what I want for myself. No one else. Not my mom, my dog, my best friend, although I value their opinions, they take a back seat.
Let go of the idea of what everyone else wants for you and expects you to do. And start asking what does God want for you and what do you want for yourself?
Ā
I know this is a lot. Trust me. I didn’t get here overnight. But friend, let me tell you. Amazing things happen when you let go of the chains you’re holding onto around you neck. And when you step into the promises God has for you, even bigger things happen. There is so much better for your life. But first you have to let go. One step at a time you can find freedom and it will be even better than you imagine!!
I’d love to hear from you. What’s going on in your life? What do you feel like you need help letting go of? Where do you feel like you’re struggling? Leave me a comment below and let me know. Until next time. Xoxo, Savvy
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